Shopping Fun
by EdwardCullenOwnsMySoul
Summary: Alice and Bella take Edward shopping, 2 words, poor Edward. Please read and review, promise you'll like it, It's my first fic so I want opinions!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight Stephenie Meyer does I just used her characters but there is NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED.**

**Shopping Fun**

Bella P.O.V

In woke up to the familiar cold of two arms wrapped around me and I smiled. I had no idea what I had done to deserve an angel in my life but boy was I sure glad I had one. I turned around to face the source of my passion and came face to face will the most beautiful thing in the world. No matter how many times I saw him I just couldn't get over his god like face and toned and muscled body, it took my breath away.

"Good morning Gorgeous" he whispered in my ear. I smiled and snuggled up into his chest. "What's on the agenda today?" I asked him. "Well, what do you want to do?" he breathed.

The scent of him hit me hard and I had to think a while before I could remember what I wanted to do. "Umm.. well I have some errands to run today but if you wanna do something else we can."  
"No errands are fine" He said, "As long as I get to spend time with you I don't care what we do"

I loved how romantic he was he could make me swoon and still manage to come up a gentleman. "Okay then." I said. "I'll need a human minute and then we can go."  
"Of course" he said "Go right ahead" he smiled. He was always so patient with my human weaknesses and I loved him for it. Most girls would have to be suspicious about leaving their boyfriends in their rooms, but not me I could trust Edward 100.

As I made my way to the bathroom I realized I forgot my soap so I went back and there right between Edwards hands was my secret diary! I couldn't believe it! I mean I know it frustrated him that he couldn't read my thoughts but to stoop so low! I'm going to get revenge I swore. As I slowly formulated a plan in my mind I decided I couldn't let him know I saw him reading my diary so since I was known to be clumsy I faked a fall and landed on my but. He was at my side in a heartbeat. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Yes" I said. "I just forgot the soap" He smiled at my forgetfulness and disappeared for only a second before returning with the soap and helping me to my feet.

I continued to the bathroom and he returned to my room. As the warm water unknotted my muscles I thought about how I could embarrass Edward as much as him knowing my private thoughts embarrassed me. And then it hit me. What makes guys more uncomfortable than anything else? Makeup!

I had to find some way to get makeup on Edward without him knowing. That was going to be difficult with all the people around someone would be bound to notice and he'd read their mind and that would be that. No I really need to think this through.. Hmm maybe Alice could help me, she's always been good at coming up with embarrassing pranks to pull, but how would I talk to her without Edward hearing? ... I know I'll just ask him if I can do the first couple of errands with Alice because they're personal and then we'll call him when he can come join us, that should work. I smiled to myself Edward was to much of a gentleman to argue about something like that so I'd have Alice all to myself for as long as we needed to come up with a good plan.

I changed into the blue sweater Edward liked along with a pair of tight black jeans Alice had bought for me a couple days ago. I tried to keep the excitment off my face or he'd figure me out in a heartbeat it wasn't as difficult as I expected because just the thought of him made me so happy it was the only thing that showed on my face..pure joy.

When I walked back into my room he was sitting on my bed waiting paitently for me to return. When he saw what I was wearing he swooped over and swept me into his arms. "You are the most beautiful creature in the whole entire world and I love you" he whispered. I blushed, he always knew just the right thing to make me feel special.

As we walked downstairs so I could have breakfast I calmly told him of my need to go shopping with Alice first to finnish up my personal errands and then explained that I'd call him when we had finished so he could come join us. He looked slightly suprised but only nooded and handed me the phone so that I could call Alice immediatley. I dialed the number "Hello?"  
"Hi Alice it's me Bella.  
"Ahh Bella, I was wondering when you'd call, I saw your plan in a vision my God it's going to be hilarious! So when do you wanna go shopping, so we can go over the details."  
"How about I meet you at your house in 5 minutes?"  
"Sure that'll be perfect I'll be ready in one, see you soon!"  
"Bye Alice"  
"Bye Bella"  
I turned the phone off and handed it back to Edward who rested it in it's cradle.

While I was talking he had already gotten me a bowl of my favourite cereal. It was a little soggy but I didn't care. I ate it as quickly as possible then I washed the bowl and spoon. I walked outside to the Volvo and sat down in the passenger side. I watched as Edward slide effortlessly into the drivers seat and I barely had time to look out the window before we had arrived. I ran out of the car and straight into Alice who was waiting patiently by the door. Edward was beside me in a heartbeat. "What's the rush?" he asked smiling. "Nothing" I said. "I just missed Alice"  
"You saw her yesterday." he said doubtfully.  
"And that was far too long for us to be separated, right Bella?" Alice said.  
I nodded vigorously.  
"Okay then" he said, still not looking like he believed us.  
"Okay well then Bella let's get going, Edward?"  
"Yes?"  
"We'll call you when we need you. In the mean time stay here!"  
"Of course" he said a little surprised by the commanding tone in Alice's voice.  
"Well I'll see you soon" I said as I stood up on my tip toes to kiss him.  
He leaned down to meet my and after a quick peck we were off. Alice got into the drivers seat and I slide into the passenger side buckling up immediately. Even though all of the Cullens had amazing reflexes and would probably never crash. The fact that they drived twice the normal speed limit still scared me. We were in Port Angeles in a matter of minutes. We went into a couple of stores to buy some things so when Edward came he wouldn't be suspicious.

After we had about ten different bags on our arms we went down to the bay to discuss what would be the best form of punishment for invasion of privacy. I told Alice about my idea to involve makeup somehow. She was overjoyed at the idea and we quickly came up with a plan to embarrass him as much as possible. When we had gone over every possible detail, Alice pulled out her cell phone and called the house. Edward picked up immediately. "Hello?"  
"Hi, Edward it's Alice, we've finished so you can come over now k?"  
"Hello?"  
"Weird" Alice said. "He must be really anxious to see you cause he just dropped the phone and started running"  
I giggled.  
"Oh hurry shield your mind before he gets too close!"  
"Already done" Alice said smugly.  
All of a sudden Edward appeared beside the bench we were sitting on.  
I gasped with surprise and he smiled at my shock. But his smile slowly turned to a frown as he looked at Alice.  
"Alice?"  
"Yes?" Alice asked innocently.  
"Why are you thinking about Hot Dogs?"  
I burst out laughing. Hot Dogs??!!  
Edward looked even more confused as his eyes shifted to look at me.  
"No reason Edward I was just thinking that it's probably about time to feed Bella and we did pass a Hot Dog stand by the book store, sooo.."  
"Hmm" Edward seemed to consider this response for a couple minutes before my stomach growled and he smiled.  
"It's seems you're right Alice it is time to feed the human."  
I sighed we couldn't go anywhere without my stomach interrupting at some point.

Thankfully Alice was right and there was a Hot Dog stand by the bookstore so our story checked out and I got to eat.  
After I had finished Edward asked "Where to now?"  
I knew exactly where I wanted to go but as Alice and I had discussed it would be best to go to a few other stores to seem harmless before going in for the kill.  
So first we went to the drug store and I picked up some advil and then we went to the bookstore and I bought another cookbook on how to cook fish. Charlie was bringing in so much fish I was running out of ideas on what to do with it.  
After a couple more pointless stops I couldn't take it anymore. We went right into the best designer store in town.  
I rushed around exclaiming over many beautiful bags and perfumes.  
Poor Edward, I could tell by his face he wasn't exactly comfortable being in such a girly girl store, but I didn't care this was all part of my revenge.

First I went over to the purse section and picked out the most girlish pinkest bag in the whole store then I immediately ran back to Edward.  
"Oh Edward isn't this the most beautiful bag ever?"  
"I suppose..." he said  
"Can you hold onto it for me while I look at the perfumes?"  
"Okay..."  
I gave it to him and then ran to perfumes, once again I tried to pick out the most girlish one it was jasmine scented and is supposed to last for 8 hours! I giggled this is so much fun!  
I ran back to Edward.  
"Edward?"  
"Yes?"  
"What do you think of this perfume?" I quickly sprayed him with it. "Is it too... I dunno overpowering?"  
Edward coughed a bit from the perfume fumes "It is a little strong"  
"Oh, okay then"

I ran over to the makeup counter. Let's see he's got a purse and he smells like a girl what next??? I know lip stick!  
I picked out a daring bright red and smeared as much of it on my lips as possible I checked in the mirror to make sure I didn't look to scary and then I ran back to Edward.  
"Edward?"  
"Yes?"  
"What do you think of this lipstick?"  
"It's a little bright don't you think?"  
"I guess... here let's test it"  
I smiled mischievously before standing up on my tip toes and kissing him hard on the lips.  
He looked startled but then he kissed me back.  
When we pulled away I had to try hard not to laugh when I saw his bright red lips! This is going exactly as planned. I thought.  
"Hmm on second thought if it makes you act like that... I like it you should buy it."  
I giggled, blushing slightly at his suggestiveness.

I made my way back to the makeup counter, tripping slighty but not falling, wondering what else I could possibly get him to wear.  
Then I saw them, lined up along the wall were dozens of bright and sparkly boas.  
I laughed this is soooo perfect I thought. I grabbed a magenta and silver one before returning to Edward.  
"Ohh Edward look at this! Isn't it just soo beautiful?"  
"Umm sure" he said  
I threw it over his neck and said "Hold that for me will you? I've still got to get a couple more things"  
"Alright" he said sighing. I knew this must be torture for him and I was enjoying it way too much :)

As I walked around the store I saw hats right by the boas and I picked out a matching magenta hat with a wide brim and a silver ribbon around the top.  
I went back to Edward placed the hat on his head and said "Hold this" before scampering away quickly. I knew I better hurry this up before he got suspicious or before Alice burst out laughing. I saw the look on her face when I put the hat on Edward's head and she looked like she could blow any minute. I quickly walked around the store again looking for the one thing that would put the finishing touches on my master piece.

I saw some necklaces so I grabbed a couple silver ones and then I saw it.

A big billowy pink dress covered in beads,bows, ruffles and sequins. It was perfect!  
I snatched it quickly and went back to Edward. I put the hanger over his head so the dress hung down in front of him then I readjusted the boa and placed the necklaces over top. I stepped back quickly and in a flash Alice had pulled out a camera and taken a picture of the bewildered Edward.

She then grabbed me and we ran out of the store. Edward tried to follow us but because of the things he was wearing he set off the alarm and a staff member came over immediately to see what was up. Unfortunately for Edward it was a guy so he couldn't dazzle his way out of this one. After quickly snapping a picture of Edward being yelled at by the clerk we ran to the Volvo and drove away laughing all the way home.

Alice drove twice as fast as she usually did and we were home in less than 5 seconds. We rushed out of the car and immediately put the pictures on the computer and printed out a couple for our own personal enjoyment. After quickly creating a banner that read "Is Edward secretly a girl?" we posted the pictures all over the house and a couple in the school.

When we got back we meet up with a very mad Edward.  
"Bella!" he yelled  
"Yes? Edward my love."  
"Don't you dare go sucking up to me now I can't believe you just did that too me! How could you?!"  
"How could I?!! How could I??! You go accusing me of doing something awful and embarrassing to you when all this time when I took my showers you were reading my diary! And yet you have the nerve to ask how could I?!"  
He looked stunned for a moment before a smile slowly spread across his face.  
He laughed and scooped me up in his arms. "Is that what this was all about?"  
"It's not funny" I said trying desperately to stay mad at him.  
His eyes smouldered and I forgot everything.  
"I'm sorry" he said "It's just so frustrating not knowing what you're thinking and I wanted to know what you really thought of me, some people say one thing and mean another."  
I sighed he was so hard to argue with.  
"Do you think you can forgive me?" he asked, his eyes burning with sincerity.  
I sighed again "Alright" I said "I forgive you"  
"Thank you" he said  
Then he slowly bent down to kiss me and we were lost in our own little world.

The next day at school it was so hard not to laugh every time I saw the look on people's faces when they looked at Edward. Unfortunately for him Alice and I had "accidentally" forgotten to take down the posters, so everyone at school saw exactly what we had done to him yesterday. He was mad about it I could tell but he was trying to hide it because he knew that reading my diary was a big deal. I felt sorry for him though. I mean I got to see people's reactions but he had to hear their thoughts as well and from his expression most of them are not very agreeable.

Edward's P.O.V.

I can't believe Alice and Bella put up those pictures! If one more person passes by me and thinks I'm gay I swear I'm gonna...  
"HAHAHAHa it's that Cullen kid! I can't believe Bella is still with him, like honestly who after seeing those pictures could doubt that he's gay?"

I knew who's thoughts I was hearing even before I saw him.  
"Newton" I growled.  
Bella turned to stare at me.  
"What about him?" She asked.  
But just then he came waltzing around the conner.  
"Bella!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing? Hanging out with gay guys is so not you. Come on let's go catch a movie or something."  
"Mike I don't think.."  
That's it I thought, you're going down Newton!

"Are you trying to put the moves on my girl Newton?!" I growled  
He looked startled but he regained his composure quickly.  
"Well seeing as there's obvious proof you don't need nor want a girl I don't see what the problem is."  
"You're going to regret you were ever born!"  
"Edward!"  
Bella leaned up and kissed me full on the lips and slowly I relaxed and kissed her back.  
She pulled away and smiled then turned back to a very shocked looking Mike.  
"Mike" she said "Edward is not gay and no I won't go to the movies with you, Edward is 5x more of a man than you are and I'm lucky to have him. Now go bug someone else!"  
"But Bella..." Mike whined.  
"I said GO!"  
I smiled.

I love Bella. She can be such a clutz at times but I love her. As Mike walked away his head hung in rejection I pulled Bella close to my side and said "Thank you"  
Once again she reached up and kissed me then pulled away and said "Your welcome" as she smiled at me.

Bella's P.O.V.

He smiled my favourite crooked smile back at me and we walked together to Biology not really caring what anyone thought cause we were together. :)

The End


End file.
